The+Epic+Tale+of+the+Grasshoppers

=Okay. The time has come, fellow followers of Peter/Uorz. The time has come to tell a tale of such extraordinary proportions that your mind will most likely explode. Or simply be warped so tragically that you become insane. Or warped so tragically that you go from insane to sane. On second thoughts, let's tell the story straightfoward - like:=

=Things you need to know (before we begin):= =I think that's everything. Anyhoo - LET US BEGIN!=
 * 1) =__Uorz:__ Uorz is part of the species known as "Domo - Kun", a group of absolute legends made in Japan. Uorz is an all - powerful being, second only to a few. Uorz is actually a pencil case, and he helps us fight the war against grasshoppers. If Aliens ever invade and say "Take us to your leader", we'll take them to Uorz. And he'll mindf*@!k them.=
 * 2) =__MR. Harris:__ Mr. Harris is our Geography Teacher. We believe him to be the king of all Grasshoppers. Indeed.=
 * 3) =__Dora the Explorer__: Not only is Dora the only adversary that actually pissed Peter off, she also holds the keys to our destruction - but has no idea how to use them. Dora was the primary evil in what is now known as "The First Great War" (Why? Cos' I said so.), and has joined forces with the Grasshoppers.=
 * 4) =__Grasshoppers__: All in good time, all in good time.=
 * 5) =__The PenguinWhoLivesInAFishbowl__: Yea, you read it right. It's a penguin. Living. In a fishbowl. He's also the most legendary being in the entire f@*!king universe, but we cannot contact him. He contacts us.=
 * 6) =__PeterTheBananaKing:__ This guy needs no introduction, but we'll give it to you anyway. Peter is the sole creator of the universe - everyone everything. Born on a by - product of Eli's insanity, Conspiracy Theories, TheRandomestWikiEver and viral campaigns, the BananaKing's Followers was soon a fully - fledged religion.=

=The grasshopper paranoia started in the sweltering heat of OC4, a place not known for it's indoor air - conditioning. It was 7RMC's very first Geography lesson, and while no - one can claim Mr. Harris looked nothing out of the ordinary, except for his straw hat and umbrella. No-one else gets the umbrella thing either. Anyway, Mr. Harris greeted is in a clipped Aussie/English accent, and went on to explain about Geography in all it's supposed glory.= =And then someone raised their hand.= =Barely skipping a beat, Mr. Harris turned, shut the student down, and then uttered 3 fatal words: "Patience young grasshopper."= =I would like to say that the whole class, collectively, drew back in their seats and then attacked, but no-one did anything of the sort. No, instead we all just laughed.= =Over the course of the lesson, Mr. Harris uttered several more and equally insane phrases, including:= ="Patience young grasshopper, accept the geographical flow."= ="Like or actually?"= ="Let us chew the geographical fat."= ="But wait, send no money now, there's more!"= =After class, my first assumption was that the man was a crackhead. Luke Dietrich (an actual crackhead), dismissed the theory, informing me that the man was aligned with the Grasshoppers, and intended to take over the world. I laughed, knowing Dora was the one doing the taking over the world thing, and shook my head.= =Oh, how wrong I was.=

=For the next couple of terms, we observed even stranger behaviour from our tormentor - such as him exiting a side entrance in the school, glancing around himself suspiciously as he walked. After running to the entrance a second after he vanished - he was gone.= =We then developed a number of completely sane theories about what was going on - the Grasshoppers being based in Cuba, over 100 battles being waged - the relationship between the Banana King vs. Dora warfare etc.= =Later, (as in a couple of days) we decided to check the entrance out, and discovered a silent car, painted "Grasshopper Green", with the number plate - BNJ21K. Naturally, we looked the number plate up on google - to no avail. But then, after searching BNJ we discovered an image that depicted a field of cubes - the metaphysical representation of Cuba, that is, the grasshopper base.= = =